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Bedroom bickering: What’s fueling our bedroom feuds?

After discovering that us hot headed Brits are struggling to avoid spats with loved ones in our home stress points survey, and since our recent nights out have been replaced with nights in, we wanted to uncover the secrets of our bedroom strife and find out what we can do to help us struggling sleepers!

New research has revealed the bedroom bickers lovers are having the most, finding that over a quarter of relationship arguments are because of snoring and sleep talking. But what else is keeping us up at night?

Sleeping with the enemy

The research which reveals what and where causes the most stress points in the home, shows nearly half (46%) of these arguments are linked to the bed with snoring, sleep talking, stealing the covers and not making the bed some of our biggest bug bares.

Living with people can really put relationships to the test and our recent study found that 82% of people admit to having arguments with people they live with including parents, partners and siblings due to home-related issues.

Most household arguments are by couples where over two thirds (38%) argue with their partner the most out of the people they live with. And with many experts warning you should never go to bed on an argument, worryingly more than one in ten (12%) of household arguments occur in the bedroom.

a graphic showing why people fall out in the bedroom

Snoring squabbles

There are approximately 15 million snorers in the UK so the number one cause of couple’s bedroom arguments might be difficult to avoid.

A lot of those are trying to cure the problem with over 20,000 searches a month for how to stop snoring, and over 1,000 for how to stop someone else snoring.

man snoring next to partner

Lazy laundry etiquette

Also getting bedroom tempers high is laundry etiquette with leaving dirty washing on the floor and not putting clean clothes away causing households many arguments. These may seem like basic tasks, but for some couples, missing the trick on these can be really irritating.

clothes on the floor in a bedroom

The top things causing bedroom arguments

  • 1. Snoring and sleep talking – 25.3%
  • 2. Stealing the covers – 10.6%
  • 3. Leaving dirty washing on the floor – 10.4%
  • 4. Not putting clean laundry away – 9.8%
  • 5. Not making the bed – 8.3%
  • 6. Watching TV, being on your phone or eating in bed – 5.2%
  • 7. Leaving the lights on – 4.9%
  • 8. Leaving the heating on all night – 3.6%
  • 9. Sweating during the night – 3%
  • 10. Ironing the sheets – 1.6%

Bring in the professionals

To help Britain’s love birds get a better night sleep and soothe the bedroom feuds, BestHeating spoke to Psychotherapist and body language expert Nick Davies who advises the following on getting a better night’s sleep.

sleeping couple and dog

The science behind better sleep

  • Wind down before bed, no TV, electrical devices or stimulation an hour prior.

Your devices produce electromagnetic radiation which, coupled with the adrenal stimulation you get from watching and reading what’s on them, overstimulates your brain.

  • Make sure your bedroom is very cool before bedtime.

When we sleep our body temperature drops as we become inactive in order to rest, and recuperate, so a warm room will make you hot and bothered.

Milano Connect connected heating products are designed to help you create the ideal heating schedule for your home and avoid boiling bedrooms that lead to heated arguments!

  • The darker the better

Blackout curtains or a sleep mask are essential for dropping off quicker. When natural light starts to fade our brains produce the sleep hormone Melatonin, which is produced in the pineal gland. It influences sleep by sending a signal to the brain that it is time to sleep, our muscles begin to relax, thoughts slow down and our body temperature drops.

  • Lighten the colour

Subdued colours are best and avoid red (unless you want to create a space for passion rather than sleep) as it represents danger (or procreation) and will create a state of alertness. Soft hues like the calm blues at @my.style.story are best as they are easy on the eye and remove all stimulating media like phones, TVs and audio players, a bedroom should be for making love and sleeping.

person asleep in a dark bedroom
  • Read something interesting but not taxing or take a 20-minute bath with soothing bubble bath like lavender.

Lavender has been proven to calm the mind and a 20-minute bath will allow all your muscles to relax pre-bedtime.

  • Weighted blankets

There’s also a new trend of people suffering from anxiety using ‘weighted blankets’ to reduce their anxious feelings, which is the same as a good duck feather down quilt, it weighs us down slightly to prevent tossing and turning and hugs us enough to feel like a warm embrace that produces oxytocins and reduces the stress hormone cortisol.

  • Make sure your body is all floppy like a rag doll, pick up and drop each arm and let it flop back onto the bed cover.

This is another technique to get that loose, limp feeling in your muscles that will promote good sleep.

  • Once in bed start taking slow, deep diaphragmatic breaths to calm your central nervous system down.

It’s important to breathe diaphragmatically as it activates the parasympathetic nervous system in the brain which is responsible for returning the body to rest, relaxation and recovery. Instead of breathing where you expand your chest and lift your shoulders, push your stomach out to breathe all the way down to the bottom of your lungs, hold the breath then dump the breath in a way where it’s like you’re letting out a loud sigh, continue for 10 breaths.

couple reading in bed

We can all relate to the frustration of not sleeping because of the sound of snoring or murmuring. Unfortunately for some couples, this irritation is too much to handle and leads to bedroom feuds.

It’s important more now than ever to create a calming, relaxing environment in the bedroom because we all know that a bad night’s sleep can leave you feeling out of sorts. Opening a dialogue with your partner about how to overcome snoring or sleep talking issues will be a huge benefit in the long run.

Do you and your partner struggle with bedroom bickering? Have you found a way to overcome the sleepy stress? We would love to hear from you! Leave a comment below or say hello on social.

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